Reconnected with my partner and need clarity

#1 · 20 June 2023, 00:05

Hi everyone. I need help finding clarity and peace of mind please. My partner of more than 15 years and I were separated for 2 months and now he reached out to me to give another try. However, I need clarity about us going forward, if we will be in a stronger place. Also, while we were on break he went to spend some time with another person. I need clarity on what went on there with the other person and if there's still a connection or will that fade as we move forward please?

Thank you so much for any help and blessings!

#2 · 20 June 2023, 00:05

He wants to give you another try? So it hasn't worked out with the other someone. Only separated 2 months and in that short amount of time he entered another relationship? The real question should be, do you want to give him another try? 15 year's, there has to be a serious connection between you and him. Be open with each other please, work it out, forgive, heal, love and understand each other. Don't hold anything in, if you or he don't? It doesn't look good. You can change your cards if both give to each other your full self.

#3 · 20 June 2023, 00:05

Quote from theemi on 20 June 2023, 00:05
Hello IanFL, I will try my best with my new tarot deck. I don't have a lot of experience reading people so I may or may not have enough information...I will just let it flow however it does.

First question I'll ask is, what is the overall vibe of the current situation with Ian and their partner?
Ten of Pentacles
What is happening with the connection between Ian's partner, and the other person?
The Magician
What can you tell Ian to help them make the best decision for themselves and all involved?
Nine of Pentacles

I took a minute to look at the cards and think about what thoughts come to mind.

The ten of pentacles is a great card to describe your situation. If you choose to take this path with him, you both are going to have to really work through it together. I recommend seeing a relationship counselor, someone who can help you both talk about what happened before and what happened during the break. Keep in mind that even though he went to see someone else, that doesn't mean he didn't still love you and didn't still want you. There is still love there, and if you treat each other with respect and kindness, you will be rebuilding whatever you lost (this needs to come from both of you, not just one, so if he is not involved in this way do not think you have to continue.) It's going to be a long path, and you're going to see insecurities pop up for months and potentially years to come, but your relationship will be stronger if you both walk together and work together. Therapy should be something that lasts years for you and your partner. When you think you are done, you are not - try to do a monthly checkin, hopefully you can afford a therapist, if not then continue to work together at least monthly, have a good sit down and heart to heart talk. Overall, this card shows me that you have a great foundation but need to work on finding the root cause of your disconnect and can work together to build a great life.

This other person - I hear "curiosity killed the cat." That was very much the vibe of the relationship - it was a wish, and a hope, and it certainly had a lot of spark to it but it came from curiosity. He was experimenting and trying something else for awhile. The other person sparked curiosity it him, but it was not enough to sustain the whole relationship. I have a feeling this was one of those "what if..." situations that he would have wondered about forever if he didn't at least try, and he REALLY did try! He did give it the best effort he could, against all odds and even during that time he still had feelings for you. I can't tell if he still wonders about the person or not. Only he can really answer that for you 🙂 It's possible that he still looks back on the relationship wishing it worked out, but that should not deter you. We are capable of having many loves in this lifetime. It does not mean he will go back, but the temptation is there.

Either way, whether or not you end up with him, this experience is going to help you feel more secure, if not with him than with another person after. I feel a lump in my throat, and negative feelings. Speak up, advocate for your needs, and stop pushing those feelings down hoping they won't come up. You are not here to please him and disregard yourself - do not set yourself on fire to keep him warm. What you need to know to make the best decisions for all involved, is that if you work on yourself and communicating your needs, the end outcome is that you will have your needs met (again, not necessarily with him.) You have 15 years together - he loves and cares for you and has a history. The likelihood of him ignoring your needs is low - but, you have to let them be known. It's going to require a bunch of honesty and openness from the both of you (this is what the therapy is good for.) If you work on yourself during this process you will reach a point of security within yourself, and your well-being will improve greatly. You will attract others to you that meet your needs and respect your boundaries (friends, people to collaborate with, etc.) so this situation has the potential to teach you more than just how to continue with your partner. You will come out stronger and more determined than ever.

I wish you both very well, and I see a great future if you two are both determined and honest with each other. Remember, this is my interpretation as a beginner 🙂 most of what I wrote here has to do with feelings that were pushed onto me from -who knows where- which affected my interpretation.

Hello IanFL, I will try my best with my new tarot deck. I don't have a lot of experience reading people so I may or may not have enough information...I will just let it flow however it does.

First question I'll ask is, what is the overall vibe of the current situation with Ian and their partner?
Ten of Pentacles
What is happening with the connection between Ian's partner, and the other person?
The Magician
What can you tell Ian to help them make the best decision for themselves and all involved?
Nine of Pentacles

I took a minute to look at the cards and think about what thoughts come to mind.

The ten of pentacles is a great card to describe your situation. If you choose to take this path with him, you both are going to have to really work through it together. I recommend seeing a relationship counselor, someone who can help you both talk about what happened before and what happened during the break. Keep in mind that even though he went to see someone else, that doesn't mean he didn't still love you and didn't still want you. There is still love there, and if you treat each other with respect and kindness, you will be rebuilding whatever you lost (this needs to come from both of you, not just one, so if he is not involved in this way do not think you have to continue.) It's going to be a long path, and you're going to see insecurities pop up for months and potentially years to come, but your relationship will be stronger if you both walk together and work together. Therapy should be something that lasts years for you and your partner. When you think you are done, you are not - try to do a monthly checkin, hopefully you can afford a therapist, if not then continue to work together at least monthly, have a good sit down and heart to heart talk. Overall, this card shows me that you have a great foundation but need to work on finding the root cause of your disconnect and can work together to build a great life.

This other person - I hear "curiosity killed the cat." That was very much the vibe of the relationship - it was a wish, and a hope, and it certainly had a lot of spark to it but it came from curiosity. He was experimenting and trying something else for awhile. The other person sparked curiosity it him, but it was not enough to sustain the whole relationship. I have a feeling this was one of those "what if..." situations that he would have wondered about forever if he didn't at least try, and he REALLY did try! He did give it the best effort he could, against all odds and even during that time he still had feelings for you. I can't tell if he still wonders about the person or not. Only he can really answer that for you 🙂 It's possible that he still looks back on the relationship wishing it worked out, but that should not deter you. We are capable of having many loves in this lifetime. It does not mean he will go back, but the temptation is there.

Either way, whether or not you end up with him, this experience is going to help you feel more secure, if not with him than with another person after. I feel a lump in my throat, and negative feelings. Speak up, advocate for your needs, and stop pushing those feelings down hoping they won't come up. You are not here to please him and disregard yourself - do not set yourself on fire to keep him warm. What you need to know to make the best decisions for all involved, is that if you work on yourself and communicating your needs, the end outcome is that you will have your needs met (again, not necessarily with him.) You have 15 years together - he loves and cares for you and has a history. The likelihood of him ignoring your needs is low - but, you have to let them be known. It's going to require a bunch of honesty and openness from the both of you (this is what the therapy is good for.) If you work on yourself during this process you will reach a point of security within yourself, and your well-being will improve greatly. You will attract others to you that meet your needs and respect your boundaries (friends, people to collaborate with, etc.) so this situation has the potential to teach you more than just how to continue with your partner. You will come out stronger and more determined than ever.

I wish you both very well, and I see a great future if you two are both determined and honest with each other. Remember, this is my interpretation as a beginner 🙂 most of what I wrote here has to do with feelings that were pushed onto me from -who knows where- which affected my interpretation.