Im so lost, i just want answers.

#1 · 20 June 2023, 00:04

Quote from Chad on 20 June 2023, 00:04
Hi, what i am about to tell you isnt going to make much sense but this is my last hope at finding some sort of answer for whats happening to me. I took mdma about 8 months ago and i havent been the same since. I started to question my life, why i existed, and why things are the way they are. And not soon after i started this ridiculous thought that i was the only real human conciousness here and everyone else isnt there own separate conciousness but just one in different bodies and personalities. It sounds crazy i know. Ever since then i realize i over analyze the way people talk to me, how they react to things, still convinced that im the only one here. Ive tried to convince myself otherwise and everytime ive just about convinced myself that im no the only one, something weird happens. Like not too long ago i was laying down and i had just woke up i got on my phone and boom. Out of no where two people text me at the same exact time that i havent messaged since the night before. Im stuck on this because why would two people message me at the same time right when i wake up and am looking at my phone. Its as if something is toying with my mind and sanity. Another example would be i was thinking about how much i like monkeys and how awesome it would be to have a little monkey friend. And then over the course of the. Next week or two. There were just videos popping up on youtube about people having monkeys and someone that i watch regularly just recently posted a video with someone in it that owns a monkey. And sometimes ill just gave weird feelings during conversations, like just weird vibes. Its never been out of the ordinary to catch onto vibes when i have a conversation with people because most of my life i feel i have had some sort of empathic abilities with very strong intuition. So ive been through some odd things spiritually in my life. But this and everything that has been happening to me is driving me crazy and i cant take living this way without some sort of guidance or answers from someone or something. Im slightly convinced im the only one here but it wouldnt make sense and thats the hope im holding onto. It wouldnt make sense that something would put me through all this torture if it created me. Why would a creator do that to its own creation? Please if you have any sort of idea thats happening with me or why it would be amazing if you could help me in some way even if its a little. This has caused me so many sleepless nights filled with anxiety and pain. Im at the end of my rope and have no where else to turn. I just don't know what to do anymore. Thankyou.

Hi, what i am about to tell you isnt going to make much sense but this is my last hope at finding some sort of answer for whats happening to me. I took mdma about 8 months ago and i havent been the same since. I started to question my life, why i existed, and why things are the way they are. And not soon after i started this ridiculous thought that i was the only real human conciousness here and everyone else isnt there own separate conciousness but just one in different bodies and personalities. It sounds crazy i know. Ever since then i realize i over analyze the way people talk to me, how they react to things, still convinced that im the only one here. Ive tried to convince myself otherwise and everytime ive just about convinced myself that im no the only one, something weird happens. Like not too long ago i was laying down and i had just woke up i got on my phone and boom. Out of no where two people text me at the same exact time that i havent messaged since the night before. Im stuck on this because why would two people message me at the same time right when i wake up and am looking at my phone. Its as if something is toying with my mind and sanity. Another example would be i was thinking about how much i like monkeys and how awesome it would be to have a little monkey friend. And then over the course of the. Next week or two. There were just videos popping up on youtube about people having monkeys and someone that i watch regularly just recently posted a video with someone in it that owns a monkey. And sometimes ill just gave weird feelings during conversations, like just weird vibes. Its never been out of the ordinary to catch onto vibes when i have a conversation with people because most of my life i feel i have had some sort of empathic abilities with very strong intuition. So ive been through some odd things spiritually in my life. But this and everything that has been happening to me is driving me crazy and i cant take living this way without some sort of guidance or answers from someone or something. Im slightly convinced im the only one here but it wouldnt make sense and thats the hope im holding onto. It wouldnt make sense that something would put me through all this torture if it created me. Why would a creator do that to its own creation? Please if you have any sort of idea thats happening with me or why it would be amazing if you could help me in some way even if its a little. This has caused me so many sleepless nights filled with anxiety and pain. Im at the end of my rope and have no where else to turn. I just don't know what to do anymore. Thankyou.

#2 · 20 June 2023, 00:04

Hey Chad,
How fortunate that you are aware something has shifted. The mdma has opened your energy field and boosted your consciousness - You opened up too fast too soon so you are unable to cope with it.
You have opened your crown chakra - Iike an antenna receiving way too many signals, the universe (spirit world) works on a faster vibrational frequency than we do - we are slower and dense. So your mental mind is trying to make sense of it all. Best thing for you to do is close down your crown chakra - in actual fact you need to bring IN your auric field. Somewhat like wearing a great big overcoat with a hood. Breathing in the energy field around you and sensing it to be closed, like a bubble around your body.
There are a few things you can do - firstly I suggest you find a good local healer that you can work with to help shut down and bring in your energy field. A local spiritualist church may be able to help.
Any good grounding meditation will also help maybe slightly but this is within your control. Epsom salt bath or soak your feet in epsom salt warm water, barefoot walk along grass or the seashore. Wear a hat, some people say symbolically and physically they feel this helps.
Al the very best.
Ria 🙂

#3 · 20 June 2023, 00:04

Hi Chad. I definitely agree with what Ria is saying, you're discovering a whole different side to life that can be pretty overwhelming when you jump in so rapidly. Taking a step back, returning to familiar routines and letting your daily life go back on 'autopilot' for a bit would help you to get grounded and feel normal again.

As for your feeling of being the only real person who exists - it's actually a documented mental state called Solipsism syndrome. People can experience it when going through things that feel abnormal or isolating from their regular life. You can read a bit more about it at this link but generally I'd say showing your brain that this is a reasonable thing to experience will help you to understand it and move on from it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solipsism_syndrome

#4 · 20 June 2023, 00:04

Quote from Wanderingsoul on 20 June 2023, 00:04
Hello’ Chad:

A pleasure to connect with you and assist you in your time of seeking.

Firstly, one might look at your letter here and….think that your issue simply has to do with such things as…”Synchronicity…..or realizing that you are the master of your destiny or other superficial observations.

But in fact, it appears that….those things mentioned are simply ‘elements’ of your experience and have little to do with anything, therefore, I will offer you a higher perspective of awareness.

It is vital to understand here that you are being affected not only by your own internal challenges but also…those of the collective consciousness as we all continue to move deeper and deeper into the photonic light waves …the divine light of Divine Creator.

Now, in looking into your energy patterns and karmic life cycles….it does appear that….

the learning lesson you are experiencing here in your current spiritual growth challenge is what you could call…”The collective conscious belief system of cause and effect”.

Now, what is important here is that you have offered yourself a clear message…which is….that you are holding onto a ‘belief’ that needs examining. This belief appears as…”DUALITY”. That there is only one right and one wrong way of expression in life.

This of course, is false. As in reality, our universe, our entire reality, both physical and non-physical is based in “Multi-dimensionality”. And that, this concept of duality is merely a lower, more animalistic concept where all individuals begin their life cycles, in general.

Now, what is significant in your situation here is that….you are now ‘awakening and recognizing’ this belief from your observations of the ‘objective’ reality, that meaning…the collective consciousness.

Now that you have begun to notice this belief, that of duality, you can then begin to examine and explore the various aspects of this belief. It appears that you are presenting yourself with this imagery and daily synchronistic events concerning duality in order to ‘emphasize’ this duality concept so that you might attain a better understanding of it.

It is simply a matter of you not ignoring or dismissing what you are generating and how you configure your energy. Hence, your answer to your current challenge is….”Noticing one’s energies and then re-configuring that energy into a more comfortable expression”. This requires no thought or strategy, simply an openness and an allowance of yourself to ‘accept’ what you present to yourself.

You are not alone in this current challenge, Chad, as most of us who have passed through the photon belt of 2012-2013 are now experiencing intense mass overload. Wherein, those of us who are feeling ready to move into higher, more spiritual frequencies and vibrations are currently examining and attempting to resolve their personal issues & karmic challenges.

Those on the lower end of the learning/evolutionary scale are feeling lost…confused…and powerless as they move deeper into their ego dramas, their own internal projections. And those who are more ‘self-aware’ and have evolved to a higher degree of spiritual awareness are now working on their own inner growth while attempting to help others.

And there are also those fewer, more evolved individuals who have made great strides and effort in facing their personal demons and issues and have advanced their awareness and empowerment and are assisting others who are more unclear and still stuck at those lower levels of spiritual / personal development.

Therefore Chad, you are generating unfamiliar expressions which are sometimes overwhelming and unnerving, it is vital that you recognize that you are simply ‘exploring’ hidden aspects of yourself. It is suggested that you allow yourself to become more and more ‘aware’ on a daily basis.

And that you recognize that you are not being harmful or destructive to yourself, but in fact, you are awakening to your own greater self, your Cosmic Self, your Divine Self.

I congratulate you Chad on your current achievement of this major awakening and movement into higher awareness, higher development.

I also wish to thank you for the opportunity to assist you in your time of difficulty and challenge.

If you wish further support, you may contact me here at my home page.

P.S. May I suggest you read a book entitled: “ The Nature of Personal Reality”, a Seth book. (Jane Roberts-author).

In Light & Reflection, Wandering Soul

Hello’ Chad:

A pleasure to connect with you and assist you in your time of seeking.

Firstly, one might look at your letter here and….think that your issue simply has to do with such things as…”Synchronicity…..or realizing that you are the master of your destiny or other superficial observations.

But in fact, it appears that….those things mentioned are simply ‘elements’ of your experience and have little to do with anything, therefore, I will offer you a higher perspective of awareness.

It is vital to understand here that you are being affected not only by your own internal challenges but also…those of the collective consciousness as we all continue to move deeper and deeper into the photonic light waves …the divine light of Divine Creator.

Now, in looking into your energy patterns and karmic life cycles….it does appear that….

the learning lesson you are experiencing here in your current spiritual growth challenge is what you could call…”The collective conscious belief system of cause and effect”.

Now, what is important here is that you have offered yourself a clear message…which is….that you are holding onto a ‘belief’ that needs examining. This belief appears as…”DUALITY”. That there is only one right and one wrong way of expression in life.

This of course, is false. As in reality, our universe, our entire reality, both physical and non-physical is based in “Multi-dimensionality”. And that, this concept of duality is merely a lower, more animalistic concept where all individuals begin their life cycles, in general.

Now, what is significant in your situation here is that….you are now ‘awakening and recognizing’ this belief from your observations of the ‘objective’ reality, that meaning…the collective consciousness.

Now that you have begun to notice this belief, that of duality, you can then begin to examine and explore the various aspects of this belief. It appears that you are presenting yourself with this imagery and daily synchronistic events concerning duality in order to ‘emphasize’ this duality concept so that you might attain a better understanding of it.

It is simply a matter of you not ignoring or dismissing what you are generating and how you configure your energy. Hence, your answer to your current challenge is….”Noticing one’s energies and then re-configuring that energy into a more comfortable expression”. This requires no thought or strategy, simply an openness and an allowance of yourself to ‘accept’ what you present to yourself.

You are not alone in this current challenge, Chad, as most of us who have passed through the photon belt of 2012-2013 are now experiencing intense mass overload. Wherein, those of us who are feeling ready to move into higher, more spiritual frequencies and vibrations are currently examining and attempting to resolve their personal issues & karmic challenges.

Those on the lower end of the learning/evolutionary scale are feeling lost…confused…and powerless as they move deeper into their ego dramas, their own internal projections. And those who are more ‘self-aware’ and have evolved to a higher degree of spiritual awareness are now working on their own inner growth while attempting to help others.

And there are also those fewer, more evolved individuals who have made great strides and effort in facing their personal demons and issues and have advanced their awareness and empowerment and are assisting others who are more unclear and still stuck at those lower levels of spiritual / personal development.

Therefore Chad, you are generating unfamiliar expressions which are sometimes overwhelming and unnerving, it is vital that you recognize that you are simply ‘exploring’ hidden aspects of yourself. It is suggested that you allow yourself to become more and more ‘aware’ on a daily basis.

And that you recognize that you are not being harmful or destructive to yourself, but in fact, you are awakening to your own greater self, your Cosmic Self, your Divine Self.

I congratulate you Chad on your current achievement of this major awakening and movement into higher awareness, higher development.

I also wish to thank you for the opportunity to assist you in your time of difficulty and challenge.

If you wish further support, you may contact me here at my home page.

P.S. May I suggest you read a book entitled: “ The Nature of Personal Reality”, a Seth book. (Jane Roberts-author).

In Light & Reflection, Wandering Soul

#5 · 20 June 2023, 00:04

If an altered state was where you encountered your awakening as "YOU" perceive it, it actually happened a long time ago, you are just finally tuning into the signs the spirits have been dropping into your lap. The spirits have increased the signs in attempt to wake us all as they are preparing us for some great changes. Don't panic relax and go with it. My advice would be for you to seek a Shaman and learn to journey safely. I would also cease the MDMA in favor of ayahuasca. This may or may not be your path however it will get you one step closer to some answers.

IMHO, Journeying is what caused you the feeling of separation and aloneness. This time is yours and yours alone, do not attempt to interact. Just observe like you were reading a picture book and things will clear up.

P.S. You made perfect sense, you are not the first and for sure not the last. Good Luck, Welcome and Peace as always.