Quote from tiredMax on 20 June 2023, 00:04

I'm not too sure how to go about writing this. But if anyone stumbles upon this and reads it then I have to thank you for taking the time, and even more so if anyone can offer advice, support, or a reading.

So, to start with my sign is cancer, and I'm currently 25. I've always felt very connected to the spiritual aspect of life since I was very young, I've had many instances of premonition type dreams, deja vu, constant nightly vivid dreams, empath like abilities that I've unfortunately have tried to ignore in the past, I can sometimes see auras and feel other's energy, and I've had many paranormal experiences in the past.

But as of late I've been feeling lost, confused, timid, and scared. My dreams have left me waking up in the middle of the night feeling alone and lost as I try not to cry for the longing of my partner I haven't seen in over a year, the dreams are almost always taunting me. There nothing scary, but they show me a life with him in France, the two of us happy, going to college or being in the jobs we want, and being able to come home to one another. It's always so vivid and all of my senses are active as if I'm actually there. As beautiful as they are, I cannot take the emptiness it leaves me every morning as I cling to my partner's teddy bear and wish I could just hold his hand.
To quickly explain why I haven't seen him is because I live in the United States, and he lives in Frace. And due to the current pandemic, we have not been able to see one another.

We have been dating for 2+ years and out of the few people I've dated, he is the only one who has constantly been in my dreams, even before I meet him in real life.

I don't know what any of it means, or what to do, I can't focus or concentrate because of the pain in my chest and the emptiness that's taken ahold. And that's not to say I haven't tried, I talk to him daily and I do what I can to focus on work, people I know, but it's never enough. I can't even pick up a pencil to draw like I once was able to.
And with the current problems that poped up out of nowhere and have caused those close to me to abandon me, I'm worried.
I'm scared, and I don't know what to do.
I don't know why these dreams keep happening, and I do not know what the future holds for me, and with the current loss, I feel as if the universe is punishing me for some reason and forcing me to be alone.

I should also mention, that I had to move this year and in my new place I have heard my name being whispered in my ear many times and I'm starting to worry that something in my apartment complex is causing the current issues. Or its just my stressed out and lonely mind messing with me.

While I try and keep my chin up, my heart keeps sinking lower. I try and keep going forward but every step feels like I'm walking through thick mud and there's no dry land to be seen.
I don't know if it's because of the collective emotions of loss, pain, hopelessness in the world that I'm picking up on, or if it may be something else.

But whatever it may be, I would appreciate any help whether big or small.