does anyone know why he let us down?
Hi all if anyone feels anything i would love to hear it x
Oh well i expected nothing from him. He gave us nothing in life so not surprised theres even less now he is dead.
Love to all x
Mcn00ter wrote: ↑Wed May 27, 2020 5:49 am
Hi all if anyone feels anything i would love to hear it xrsz_120200527_064426.jpg
This dude was not a take-charge guy, kind of a pushover, kind of timid so tried to hide his inner conflict with himself over the people that surrounded him. He seems out of place.
WHy did he let you down? Dunno. He doesnt seem comfortable in this picture, and doesnt seem to fit with the surrounding people.
Let me know how i did
Ok ev i think you nailed my dad as he was uncomfortable in his own skin i think and when sober (from what i am told as i only ever saw him drinking ) he was a quiet man. It is me and my two sisters around him and i believe his uncomfortable state is guilt as he not only chose alcohol over us but he left my mum and us whilst she was pregnant with my baby sister to take up with another woman and although im told she pursued him he didnt need much persuading.
Much love, jacqueline x
Ps, thank you for taking your time ev i dont suppose you picked anything up from him direct? i fear he will give nothing but i was hoping after everything is said and done he might have got some backbone and help ease the deep seated hidden pain of being abandoned that we as his children collectively carry around and never acknowlede although our self destructive tendencies perhaps give us away.
Much love, jacqueline x
Thanks for the feedback.
No, i couldnt say i really know anything from trying picture readings, just the stuff that comes to my head.
And what came to my head was someone not being comfortable in the situation they were in
Well thank you for taking time anyway its much appreciated and you did pick up on my dads demeanour when sober but sadly that was a rare occurance and let me tell you the demons inside of him took over and so did the rage!
Much love, jacqueline x
Immediately I thought alcoholic.
Sadly addictions tend to seperate people even from themselves. And it takes priority holding people hostage.
Not that that is an excuse for his behavior at all.
He always battled inside and that battle excreated outward - as he had to blame other things to deflect from his own accountability.
Spot on sue and ty for your input, much appreciated x
Mcn00ter wrote: ↑Wed May 27, 2020 5:49 am
Hi all if anyone feels anything i would love to hear it xrsz_120200527_064426.jpg
Hello! Thank you for posting and giving myself and others an opportunity to practice! 🙂
When I tuned in, i immediately heard, "Which one?"
I feel like he lead a double life. I get the name Don very loudly.
I can see him staring at his knick knacks while the world goes on around him. That may be literal, but I think it's mostly to suggest that he was very selfish and very self-involved in his own life with little care to others.
He was misunderstood. I don't think he was ever fully himself and he carried that resentment with him through his whole life. There was something career-wise that he wanted to do but couldn't and that devastated him. "Why should others be happy when I can't be ".
He's definitely upset that no one carried on his legacy. Legacy is big and bold here. I heard that very firmly. I'm not sure if it was a hobby or a business.
I don't know if, even in death, he understands how petty his squabbles were. He knows that he did not give you and the family 100% of himself. But he feels ambivalent towards this. Again the mindset of, "I didn't get to do what I wanted so I don't care about anyone else."
I also keep hearing the name James repeated over and over again. James james james.
Thank you for taking the time to reply i really appreciate it truly. I will say that the selfish part i completely agree with but not much else untill i got to the james part when you got that 100% correct because my dads name was infact..... james x
Ps, sorry i forgot to mention the legacy part which i firmly believe is more related to his surname as that was about the only thing he would have cared about and infact, when my only nephew was born i begged my sister to have our surname on his birth certificate as he was the only link to my papas side of the family (my dads dad) and i loved my papa and it was more a mark of respect for him rather than my dad x
Hiya!
Just a quick follow up for you:
Our worth, as you know, is not up to our parents, though it certainly helps. Every challenged relationship we have is an opportunity to refine ourselves in a way. I think you take that stance.
It is really important for you: To release resentment at this point. It SET YOu free, not anyone who has been abusive. You did not deserve to be treated unkindly - and I think you know that. There is 1 in every family it seems that goes down this road, some recover and make amends - some do not.
You were beautifully created - and a cherished person! Let go of his problems - (easier said then done) - as his problems are no reflection on who you are as a person - At this point know he honestly lacked capacity to manage relationships due to his own dysfunction. Does not make it right - but he is what he is. Time to pack up his baggage from your life and continue to enjoy your life!
Grateful to meet you! to resentment
I absolutely love all that you said and everyone who replied yet despite leverything i still can not grasp how disposable not only me amd my sisters were but my ma (his legal wife) too. I was unable to bear children but absolutely adore animals and from my standpoint could not imagine how any human could be indifferent towards their own flesh and blood x
I agree, I am a mom. I would crawl for my kids. However, my ex husband...
Well maybe I am all to familiar with the situation - he left for drug use after 17 years - out of the blue.
He did what he could to divert child support (failed at that) - and can barely remember much about our kids.
It happens. I have done what I can to help my kids understand an analogy: IN men in black the movie some man is walking around, talking, interacting sorta normally: but then he is on a lab table, they open him up and inside is an alien with gears and pullys to control the man.
I just explain that he loves them with his heart but cannot feel his heart or hear it when the alien of mental illness and substance abuse is in control, just like that alien.
Your family did not deserve the treatment, but stuff happens sadly.
Time to put that to bed in your life, I know it was hurtful, but ask yourself how you have benefited in self awareness and other things - typically there is a good situation in most things - 1 of them is overcoming.. You don't have to love him, or forgive him, but you can let go of resentment as it will provide freedom for you 🙂 Hope that helps you are precious.
Love to you sue call i absolutely hear you xxx